Wednesday, December 31, 2008

True friends are a rare breed.

A friend is someone who knows when to lie to you..
Scene: You in your bedroom, crying over a guy who just dumped you, your makeup smeared all over your face.
You: Do I look horrible? *weeps*
Friend: No, of course not, you're gorgeous, sweetie!

..and when to be completely honest.

Scene: You getting ready for a big date with your crush, wearing deep purple stilettos with a candy apple red dress, to be funky.
You: This outfit should catch his attention, no?
Friend: Yea, it'd catch his attention to the fact that you do not have any fashion sense. Go upstairs and change to something more normal!

A friend is someone who knows when to talk nonstop..
Scene: You had just seen your ex with a better-looking girl on his arm.
You: *confused*
Friend: Pssh, she's fugly. And he doesn't deserve you, never did, never will, you can do better. You know what I could use right now? A drink. A good old, intoxicating, head spinning, mouth drying drink. Let's go get some! Same place?

..and when to shut up.
Scene: Your boss just dumped a shitload of work on you and then asked you to give your two weeks notice as they are letting some people go. Your friend bursts in your office to tell you she's pregnant.
You: *frustrated* Goddamned boss. Goddamned company. Goddamned life.
Friend: *holds back* Fuck them.

A friend knows when to cover for you..

Scene: Your mom comes over to visit, sees a box of condoms in the bathroom drawer.
You: Oh, those... *stammers*
Friend: Yea, those are mine, Mrs. ! For research for work, you know, safe sex and all that. *smiles brightly, grabs box*

..and when to rat you out.
Scene: Your friend brings you back to your boyfriend's apartment from a party and sniffed some cocaine against your friend's better judgement.
You: *woozy*
Friend: Yea, Stupid here had some coke.
You: *glares at friend*

A friend knows when to clown around..

Scene: You are exhilarated after passing the board exam.
You: *cheers* Yay! No more sleepless nights! No more all-nighters!
Friend: No more beer!
You: No more.. -___- Boo.

..and when to be dead serious.
Scene: Your grandmother passed away a week ago.
You: *sobs on friend's shoulder*
Friend: She was a great woman. *hugs you tight*

A friend knows when to agree with you..
Scene: A cute guy you had a crush on tried to corner you in a bar, you are telling the story to someone who doesn't seem to believe you.
Person: Really? He doesn't seem the type to do that.
You: *indignant* He was an asshole, he tried to touch my boobies in public!
Friend: Yea, he was an absolute jerk!

..and when not to.

Scene: In a bar, you see your ex's new slutty girlfriend flirting with a table full of unknown guys. You head over to slip a sleeping pill in her drink.
You: *raring to go* Come on, she deserves this. Just this once, for payback, let me do this.
Friend: *glares at you hard* She'll get her karma soon enough. I can't let you.

~

and according to ,
A friend is someone who'd willingly share the last cookie with you.

Parang sa Fita, kalahati lang yung binigay.

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