Monday, October 26, 2009

You're scared of.. what now?

Everyone seems to be on a listing spree for the Halloween, so I thought to jump on the bandwagon.

October. It is the month that is usually linked to ghouls, dead people, the dark, and generally all things creepy. But those mentioned are fears common to most, there are truckloads of articles written about them already. I wanted a topic that's not as overused as the others, so after weighing my topic ideas, I settled on writing about people's weird fears (who am I kidding, this topic has already been used and abused). It was a toss up between the top five things we are all afraid of and this. And as always, I went with weird.

So here I present to you, the TOP 5 WEIRDEST FEARS, according to me.

First up, at number five, we have:

This one's pretty easy to figure out. As you probably already guessed, Bogyphobia is the fear of bogeys. While I too, am not very fond of the bogeyman, the term for this fear just gives me the LOLs. Couldn't anyone have thought of a better, less snicker-inducing name? Something more ominous sounding perhaps?

Next up on the list, at 4th place is:

Cacophobia's a bit harder to guess, by the name alone. It is, by definition, the fear of ugliness. You read it correctly. Ugliness is scary. How something like this can be an actual condition, I do not know.

Taking the 3rd spot, we've got:

This is the fear of.. -wait for it- ..chopsticks. I kid you not. There are actually people who balk at seeing those tiny little sticks. Imagine this person going to China. And dying.

Now on to the runner up, at number two is:

I salute you if you can read that out loud without fumbling the first time. Can you guess what this is a fear of? Ironically, hippopotomonstrosesquipedialiophobia is the fear of long words. Come on now, people-who-make-these-names-up, this was the only name you could think of? REALLY?!

Psychologist: "So.. what phobias do you have?"
Person with this phobia: "I have Hippopotomo-" *faints*
You just can't give them a break, can you?

And we are now down to last item on the list. This, ladies and gentlemen, has got to take the cake as the weirdest phobia of all time, bar none.

Taking the number one spot on this list is:
You will not see this coming. This phobia is the fear of.. peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. For SRZ. Peanut butter. sticking. to. the. roof. of. the. mouth. PEANUT BUTTER! *pauses and sighs* What more can I say?

Homer has it?
Well, that's that. The top five weirdest phobias I could find on the intarwebz. If you have any of these fears, I am very sorry, but you are weird. And slightly disturbing.

Runners up include: POGONOPHOBIA, the fear of beards; SYPHILOPHOBIA, the fear of.. you guessed it.. syphilis (I would like to think that we all suffer from this fear); and, PELADOPHOBIA, the fear of bald people (Mr. Clean looks like he can pummel you with a meat cleaver).

I'm not exactly one to criticize, because I am deathly afraid of stairs, specially winding ones in very close quarters. It's a weird combination of climacophobia and claustrophobia (someone, come up with a funny name for it already).

What about you, what are you weirdly afraid of?


Bim said...

I know you probably won't admit it, but you are a fantastic writer.

Also, the only crippling fear I have would be dentist-o-phobia and heights-o-phobia.

abumelt said...

You're biased, sweetie, but thanks.

I also have dentist-o-phobia. ..t-they have sharp tools.

Kiten said...

I agree with Bim.. you are a fantastic writer.. :)

And I'm afraid of heights too.. and cockroaches (specially the flying ones) :)

abumelt said...

@Kiten: Thank you. You make me blush.

LOL, I wonder if there's a term for the fear of flying cockroaches..