Sunday, March 22, 2009

Yes, I'm here.

Hooboy, it's been a while since the last time I directly poured out my own emotions on this blog. I'm not sure if I ever have, really. I mean, sure I've put up some gag-inducing emo posts, but they're usually objective, cryptic, or said in general. I'm not all that sure if I've used this blog the way it was meant to be used. You know? As a direct outlet for your innermost thoughts, a place for writing/talking to yourself or to an audience that's always willing to listen (okay, maybe not a "willing" audience exactly, but an audience who has no choice but to take in your thoughts). You know, like a.. "Dear Diary" kind of an outlet.

Let that be a warning of what the rest of this entry would be like.

A friend once told me that blogs were created so that less people will jump off from windows. That makes sense, in a way. Because here, on the internet, in your own personal blog, no one's allowed to criticize your words (well maybe random jerks might, but generally, it's your haven, it's your little world, no one's allowed to burst your bubble) and you get to be as open and as honest as you want. You can ramble on as long as you wish, about wanting to jump off from windows or whatever. Anyway, reading friends' blog posts prodded me to write one of my own tonight. It's been a while, LJ.

Because I seem to be suffering from a bad case of PMS, and have been an emotional mess lately, it's not all that surprising that I woke up crying this morning. I had a dream that felt all too real, that my tears cruised past dreamland. The dream, to me, felt like it could happen, maybe sometime soon, maybe never, who knows. Do dreams actually mean something? Or maybe they just showcase your fears and/or desires? I've never been a believer of something that cannot be explained, I don't know what to make of dreams.

I realize I'm getting vaguer and vaguer. Oh today, Norbelle said I'm a bit of a masochist (I vehemently disagree); she says this because according to her, I already know what'll hurt me, but I stubbornly do it still (what can I do, im a Taurean?). Having her as my sounding board for things that I need someone's opinion on is good for me though, she keeps me grounded, real, and less crazy than I would have been otherwise. Yea, I've been reading off people's blog archives again. And boy, it was fun and not-fun at the same time. I stopped though, after a while. Norbelle made me.

Oh, I went to Hongkong last weekend with [info]sundaecone. It was a lot of fun exploring the city, it was my first time abroad without relatives. I didn't bring a jacket with me because I thought it would be as hot and humid as it is in Manila. It's spring there, apparently, and it was hella cold. Lesson learned: Check online weather forecast before traveling. I really should be writing more about the trip, but I'm too lazy to sort and upload the pictures, I will one of these days. This be one of my favorite shots of the trip.

sandwiched between blown-up clowns in stilts
sadly, looking like a touristy OFW

Okay, I shall end this post with a thought that is in absolutely no corelation to any of the the words written above. I have a bruise on my leg the size of an old one peso coin. Not the ones in circulation now though, a bruise of that size is teeny and not very blognoteworthy.

And I have to close this post now, as it's been open for more than an hour. Writing like this, without purpose, without a certain topic, actually feels good. Like getting a free taste of alcohol, it's a good kind of surprise, one that makes you feel warm inside. Yep, I'm still here. And I still blog, from time to time. 
 
WARNING: This post was made to deliberately confuse the reader.

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